37. Need girl advice? read a magazine

When girls need advice they talk to their family. They tell their life stories to their friends. They gossip to neighbors. They chat politely with people on the street, in line, at the store, etc. I would say that girl's lives are more like an open book. Not that guys cant be open too.. it's just that you actually have to ask.

Trey and I were sitting around (it seems like many blog posts start this way) and we realized that neither of us knew exactly what classes Kyle was taking, which is a fairly normal roommate thing to know. Granted the guys knew not only what classes I had, but who I sat next to in class, the homework I was assigned each day, the professors and what weird thing they said that day. (Yes, girls give more details see post 8). The difference though is that I volunteered this information. Kyle would gladly tell me.. if I asked.

How does this relate to girl advice? well, guys don't exactly ask for advice the way girls do. (they find it in other ways- like magazines, or guess and check?) This might relate to how they also don't ask for directions.

For the holidays the boys bought me a Cosmo magazine. (they also got me a Jamba Juice gift card and a massage, and although thats REALLY cute, it is not relevant to the post) The justification for the magazine? Because, since I live with boys- I need a magazine to get girl advice.

Little do they know that I get more advice on my clothes, hair, dating, flirting, mannerisms, and habits than I did when I lived with girls.

...Oh yea, and I have now caught both guys reading Cosmopolitan at separate times....

36. Pooping is normal

After living with boys the whole "lady" and "gentlemen" thing ends pretty quickly. It is to be expected.

I have seen both guys in a towel, talked to them while we were both brushing our teeth, seen crude youtube videos, had conversations while they peed, and heard stories not fit for a "lady's" ears. Granted, the whole "lady" image is lost since they have seen me without makeup, wearing my glasses and retainer (see post #13), and I often drink my apple juice straight out of the bottle. That being said, I think we hit a new level of comfortable today.

I was going to go shopping for our friend Katie's birthday. I wanted to know if the guys wanted to go in on a present with me. I called Trey. He didn't answer but instead replied with a text message.

Trey: Sup, I'm pooping
Mallory: Going to pick up kfray a bday present. Do you want it to be from you too?
Trey: Haha ya! Can I come with? Are you home or wehner?
Mallory: I'm walking to my car. Where are you?
Trey: Wehner! I'll meet you at your car?
Mallory: Yea. (and then it clicked) Wait. You were pooping in wehner?
Trey: Yup, 4th floor!
(I am going to pretend you didn't just tell me that... but then again, I did ask)
Mallory: I'm going to pretend you didn't just tell me that.

Later that night I was talking to Kyle before bed. I told him the series of text messages thinking he would get a laugh out of it.

Kyle: So?
Mallory: haha You dont think thats funny?
Kyle: Not really. Pooping is natural. It's not really that big of deal. That's what he was doing.
Mallory: But Kyle! It was in a public place! and he TOLD me about it...
Kyle: The fourth floor is hardly "public". It wasn't like it was the lobby.

Define public. (But that's not the point) The point is that boys embrace their natural excretion while girls choose to not talk about certain things with their friends.

35. Girls have names for their outings

Kyle, Bailey, and I had a spur of the moment afternoon ice cream run. We were then going to tag along with Kyle on some of his errands (to pick up a new cell phone). I called Trey to invite him to join us on "Kyle's afternoon of errands". Upon hanging up the phone Kyle immediately laughed at me.

Kyle: So you've made a name for the afternoon?
Mallory: Well... yea.

The following weekend I spent alot of time with our friend Katie. After spending several hours trying to make a costume I told Katie we could just add the story to our weekend adventures. The next day she told me she really enjoyed "Mallory and Katie's weekend adventures" and we laughed about our weekend. This wasn't strange to either of us.

After some contemplation I realized that the guys never name their outings. It must simply be too "cute" for boys. I am hoping this is one of the things that rubs off on them... I look forward to the day that the boys come home from a self declared "Kyle and Trey's trip to walmart".

34. "Safety" is a relative term

Girls and guys define safety very differently. Girls view safety as preparing (or worrying) about ALL the things that could possibly happen. Guys have a more practical approach of preparing for things that have actually have a good chance of happening.

One night I was studying in the computer lab on campus with Kyle. I was working on a paper and finally finished around 1am. Kyle was not quite done (probably because he fell asleep for a solid 40 minutes- which is impressive in a computer lab). Trey was online and the two of us were chatting while I waited.

Trey: So when are you guys coming home?
Mallory: Whenever Kyle is ready.. maybe 30 minutes or so?
Trey: Why are you waiting on Kyle?
Mallory: I don't really like to walk to my car by myself at night.
Trey: You are just sitting there at 1am until he leaves?
Mallory: I dont like walking to the car by myself at night! Hey- and will you look at my paper if you have time?
Trey: I'll only look at your paper if you leave now...

Thankfully I got the best of both worlds because Kyle was ready to leave. I had someone to walk me to my car (and make fun of me the whole time for NEEDING to be walked to may car), and I had someone to read my paper when I got home.

Trey: Kyle walked you to your car?
Mallory: Yea... (thanks Kyle for ratting me out!). But what's the big deal of him walking me to my car?
Trey: I was trying to prove a point.
Mallory: Something bad could have happened!
Trey: The only thing I have ever seen in that parking lot is a night patrol cop.

Well, why exactly do you think we have to HAVE night patrol cops? Because bad things happen!

The difference is that when I think about that parking lot (along with many girls) we picture the opportunity that lies with a parking lot. We see that big unmarked van that could be next to our car. The guy that is laying under our car with a knife. Or his buddy in the back seat. The guys? They see a well light parking lot with a patrol officer and emergency safety lights on a school campus right next to the building. Hm.

33. Don't wear it if it's not your style

I had several friends come intown for Halloween weekend. One of them was Marybeth. Marybeth is absolutely obsessed with this blue and black flannel shirt. If anyone knows Marybeth they know which shirt I am talking about because (as I said) she is absolutely obsessed with it and wears it quite often. She wore it this past weekend (surprise) while she was staying with me. Unfortunately, she left it at my house.

I decided I wanted to wear it to school on monday. I mean, I am clearly not borrowing the guy's clothes for class. And besides, flannel is really "in" right now. I stopped by Trey's room to ask him a quick question. As I was leaving Trey stopped me:

Trey: Hey Mal?
Mallory: Yea?
Trey: You weren't planning on wearing that to school were you?

(Yes, clearly)

Mallory: Yea...
Trey: Really?
Mallory: Why is something wrong with it?
Trey: I don't know, it's not your thing.
Mallory: You thought it looked fine on Marybeth this weekend....
Trey: Well yea, it's marybeth's thing. It's just not yours.

Turns out guys do have a sense of style (it's just unique)... Trey's style? Boardshorts and a graphic tee.

32. Friends are family. Really.

Girls are old fashioned. They lock the doors when they leave the house. They call their friends to invite them over. The host straightens up the house before they arrive. Friends say goodbye and leave before bedtime. (unless it is a predetermined "girls sleepover" of course)

Boys take the quote "my house is your house" to a whole new level. The guys seldom lock our doors.. which is a good thing since at any given moment an unexpected friend might arrive. It doesn't matter if we are home or not. On more than one occasion I have come home to see some of the guys' friends laying on the couch watching TV. (I told you we had a nice TV!)

Honestly I have to say I love this though. I love that everyone feels at home here and I really like having people at our house. There is someone to talk to at any given moment right?

Yesterday was the perfect example. I came home from a meeting around 10:30pm. Neither of the guys' cars were in the driveway and all the lights in the house were off. I went into the house telling a very animated story on the phone. I had been in the kitchen for several minutes when I realized there was someone sleeping on the couch (the plaid one).

Mallory: Brian?
Brian: Yea....
Mallory: What are you doing?
Brian: Well, I fell asleep around 4.
Mallory: On the couch? (clearly) Oh. Where are Kyle and Trey?
Brian: They had songfest practice... and then, I don't know.
Mallory: Oh okay. Sorry to wake you.

Sorry to wake you? Sorry that I didn't know there was someone sleeping on the couch in the kitchen for over six hours. (How COULD I have known that!?) .... Granted I then had someone willing to watch E! News, Chelsey Lately, and Girls Next Door with me.

31. The trash is taken out when someone wants to take out the trash. Not when it is full.

Trash in the kitchen can go without being taken out for several days. That is normal. Trash in the kitchen can go without being taken out several days after NEEDING to be taken out. That is something only boys do.

When I have lived with girls there is a "magic line" and once it reaches that point someone takes out the trash on their way out. It is amazing that the trash can at my house now seems to have no such line.

In fact, boys are creative. I imagine it takes more effort to figure out how to balance the next piece of trash on the pile rather than actually take it out. We almost have a never ending game of jenga. The trash can somehow pile up above the top of the can. Then there are some days when it actually leans up between the refrigerator and the wall. Of course if there is a box of any kind it goes next to the trash can (save room right?). Then of course if there is a box next to the trash can you can fill it to the top with trash before needing to take it out.

Granted, I know I am perfectly capable to take the trash out (and I definitely do sometimes too!) but I think I am more in awe of the stacking abilities of my male counterparts.

30. Boys have a sentimental side too

... And it never ceases to amaze me when I see it.

I would say out of my roommates Trey is the least affectionate. Not that Kyle is affectionate (But.. he every now and then will tell me he enjoys our conversations or does something like leave half an avocado for me...)

There have been several times that I have left sticky notes on Trey's desk. One of them was because I was going out of town and left and note saying goodbye. Another time I wrote him a little note saying "glad youre my roomie". Another time I left him a little present and a note purely stating "present". Trey has saved all of these notes. They are hanging in a row over his desk.

I noticed them one day.
Mallory: Trey, you don't have to save my sticky-notes to you.
Trey: I know. I want to.

Oh. Aw. Wow. It really is the little things with boys that show they care, they don't need to tell you every day.

Additional Note: To be fair, Kyle has saved a "feel better" card and all the little presents that I have given him over the last few months. They are on the top left hand corner of his desk. I am not sure if this is because he is "saving" them or if that is just where he has left them after receiving and has just not cleaned his room.

29. Boys don't emphasize meaningless words

I was writing a post and trey was frustrated that I inaccurately emphasized one of the words. I had quoted Trey as saying "He is SUCH an idiot." (see post 26)

Trey: The post is good, except for that one line. That's not what I said.
Mallory: Yea you did! Or something to that effect...
Trey: I didn't say "SUCH an idiot". That is such a girl thing to say.
Mallory: I mean, you said something like that.
Trey: I probably said "such and IDIOT".
Mallory: That's basically the same thing. What is the difference between emphasizing SUCH and emphasizing IDIOT.
Trey: Because "idiot" is the point.

I never noticed this before. Girls say "that was SO awesome." Boys says "that was AWESOME." How does emphasizing words make one girly? I don't know. Guess you learn something new everyday.

28. You are only a "slut" if people know

Kyle (enough said)

27. You're never too sick to be on texags

Trey wasn't feeling well.

In fact, he was feeling really bad. Honestly, he didn't even look well. Trey missed all of his classes. He didn't go to a group project. He canceled all of his plans for the evening. He spent the entire day on the couch.

Trey: *groans* I think I am just going to go to bed.
(It is 10pm- he normally goes to bed around the 2am hour or so)

A few minutes later I hear frantic typing coming from Trey's room. I stick my head in the door to see him sitting upright at the computer typing.

Mallory: Sleeping huh?
Trey: Well I just had to read texags- THEN go to sleep.

Texags is a website where boys basically get online and debate sports and rather insignificant matters.

I am sure glad Trey has his priorities in line.

26. It's okay to identify what people are bad at

Trey and I were in the car. Trey rarely gets frustrated but he is working with a guy that we both who really knows how to get under his skin. He vents quite frequently about him.

Trey: He is such an IDIOT!
Mallory: Trey...
Trey: No really, hes just dumb. He says nothing that contributes. He said something and I was like "what are you talking about!?"
Mallory: Seriously, you're kinda just being mean....
Trey: No. It's okay to identify what people are bad at.

It is true. Trey isn't afraid to tell point out your weaknesses. Or what he thinks you are bad at. It is actually really refreshing to get constructive criticism and I have learned alot about myself as we talk about strengths and weaknesses. Boys are generally just simply more frank than girls.

It is only really bad for people who trey things "are bad at life".

25. Life lesssons can be learned from watching sports

Fair does not always mean equal.

It is normal for roommates to help eachother out. There was one time when the attachment on my email didn't send and Trey emailed it to me. There was another time when Kyle left the burner on in the kitchen and I kindly turned if off for him (don't worry, he got a strike). There have been a few times that I have picked up hotpockets for Trey at the grocery store.

Recently I had a huge knot in my shoulder that I couldn't reach and was really bothering me so I made Kyle work it out for me. (Yes, I sometimes miss girl roommates- but the guys are adapting fairly well!)

Mallory: Thank you so much, Kyle! Next time I'll help you!
Kyle: No problem, but you don't have to worry about it.
Mallory: Really, its only fair
Kyle: Fair does not always mean equal
Mallory: Yea it does... what do you mean?
Kyle: Think about sports

(Is that even related?)

Mallory: What?
Kyle: On a sports team the best player usually gets more field time. That isn't equal, but its fair.

I am still not 100% sure if this works in our situation. All I know if that I got my knot out of my shoulder and I don't owe anything. It is interesting that sports is suddenly applied to everyday life. But, okay.

The concept that "fair is not always equal" is probably a positive way for boys to look at life. It justifies having to pick girls up for dates, holding doors open, offering to pay for food, giving up seats on the bus, etc.

The obvious conclusion then arises: Females must clearly be the superior sex.

24. Sometimes boys clothes can't go into the dryer either

The boys tend to leave their clothes in the dryer "until they remember them". Which I think means "until they need them". They also tend to leave their clothes in the washer for an extended period of time (which is just gross)

When you are the next one to use the laundry it is common practice in the house to either remove the clothes that are already in the dryer or transfer the wet clothes in the washer to the dryer (which again is gross).

One day Trey was doing laundry and moved Kyle's clothes into the dryer- he realized that he wouldn't be able to do this for me because he wouldn't want to mess up any of my clothes.

Trey: So.. I guess I really shouldn't move your clothes into the dryer, huh?
(not that I leave my clothes in the washer)
Mallory: What do you mean?
Trey: Well, some of your clothes can't go in the dryer right?

Turns out he shouldn't be able to do this for Kyle either. Kyle now has a load of laundry that is all a size too small.

23. Girls simply get more excited about weddings

I found out that one of my best friends got engaged. Of course I was really excited and told everyone that I knew. My parents, mutual friends, non-mutual friends, the librarians, random strangers on the street.. basically anyone who would listen. (I then went through the whole process again when she asked me to be a bridesmaid)

Both of my roommates know Katiebeth.

(Let me set the scene: I come running into the house really excited with my news. Both guys are standing in the kitchen - typical)

Mallory: Guess what!?! Katiebeth got engaged!!
Kyle: Oh cool.
Trey: That's great.

That's it?

My theory was that maybe the two of them were really just not that close to Katiebeth and therefore wouldn't get THAT excited. That theory was proven wrong the next day at dinner with Trey, Brian, and Katie.

We were sitting at dinner and I told Brian and Katie that Katiebeth was engaged.

Brian: Fun.
Katie: REALLY!?!? Awwwwww. Yay! That's so exciting! How did he do it? Where were they? Have you seen the ring? What did he say? Are you going to be in it?

See, not THAT's the response I was looking for. Katie doesn't know Katiebeth any better than either of my roommates. (probably even less), and yet she was infinitely more excited about the engagement than the guys.

Could this be because girls dream of weddings and boys dream of cars?

22. The side of the bed you sleep on is the side with less clothes

I was laying in Kyle's room keeping him company while he was cleaning.

Mallory: I am not really sure where there is room for you to sleep in your bed
Kyle: I usually just push everything over to one side
Mallory: So what are you going to do tonight when your bed is clean? Spread out in the middle?
Kyle: No. I'll probably still sleep on this side
Mallory: Why?
Kyle: Well, I am so used to there being clothes on the other side.

Really?

Maybe this is nature's way of training boys for someday growing up and having a spouse. They will be so use to only having a small side of the bed to sleep on anyways.

21. A three strike policy is an effective discpline method

Girls tend to be passive aggressive. Mess in the living room will be strategically placed outside someone's door. A dirty bowl will go unwashed until the correct person cleans it. A sticky note will be left reminding other roommates to close the door or keep the A/C low. Worse yet, girls will keep the built up frustration inside until one day when they explode.

The boys have a three strike policy.

I had my arms full and did one of those things where you close the refrigerator door with your side. It didn't ACTUALLY close all the way.

Kyle: Mallory! You didn't close the refrigerator!
Mallory: Oops. Sorry!
Kyle: That's it, you get a strike.

It is refreshing to know that if I make a mistake (which I will because I am human) or if one of the guys makes a mistake (which they will because they are human), the other roommates will simply call them out and then be done with it. (what a concept right?)

There is a whiteboard in the kitchen with everyone's name on it. If you mess up, you get a strike. After three strikes, something really bad happens. I don't think anyone really knows what that is.

20. The way to get a hug is to not ask for one

Boys want what they can't have. This concept is normally applied to attraction to the opposite sex. However, it should be applied to everyday aspects.

I am limited to one hug a day. Recently, I have been trying to withstand altogether (I mean, who wants to hug someone who doesn't want to be hugged anyways right?) Trey said something yesterday and my first reaction was to give him a hug. I barely moved before I caught myself.

Trey: Mallory, when you never hug me it makes me WANT to give you hugs.

And then I got one.

Boys want what they can't have. Which makes me think: There must me many other ways to use this newly found persuasion method.

19. Bored? Play leapfrog

When girls are bored at home they sit around and talk (and gossip). Or watch a chick-flick. Or get the ice cream out of the freezer.

Boys play rockband. Or do completely random activities to entertain themselves. As in yesterday's case: play leapfrog.

18. It's okay to have cockroaches in the garage. They will just come back anyways.

I bought every cockroach house/spray/bomb/diffuser the grocery store (see post 10).

Mallory: I am so excited to get rid of the cockroaches!
Trey: Yea, as long as Loki wont be hurt by that stuff. (Loki is Trey's dog)

Mallory: I was thinking that we could set of the bug bombs when we go to New York and when Loki is out of the house.

Kyle: Yea... I don't know how I feel about the bug bombs
Mallory: But Kyle, they will kill the cockroaches!
Kyle: I just don't know how I feel about putting all of those chemicals in the house

Mind you, I am all for being chemical free and healthy. (I even buy organic apples when they are on sale at the grocery store) But when it comes to cockroaches... I would pour DDT around the house if that would get rid of them.

Mallory: Could we at least do one bomb in the garage then?
Kyle: Well we don't want to kill the rat.

(This is a moment of sheer mental panic: we have a rat!?)

Mallory: We have a rat!?
Kyle: Yea, it has been there since last year. If we kill it the whole garage will smell.
Trey: Besides, even if we kill all of the cockroaches.... they are just going to come back anyways.

So yes, we have cockroaches and a rat in our garage. (This is an interesting choice of pets if you ask me) I can guarantee that I fully intend to never step foot in the garage unless absolutely necessary

17. Boys like to dance around the house too

Kyle. (enough said)

16. It is important to make sure everyone knows it's a guy's house

This is the explanation I would like to give for the playboy magazine that has been in the living room since the day I moved it (really? does it take 6 weeks to read one magazine?) accompanied by "The Man's Alphabet". I am also not allowed to hang any semi-girly decorations in the house.

Katie and Catherine came over one day to watch movies. Neither of the guys were home so the three of us had lit candles and were sitting on the couch (not the plaid one, in case you were wondering) eating ice cream. Trey comes home and sees the three of us. After declaring that it looked as though we were having a seance, he reminded the three of us that this is a GUY'S house too.

... I did notice however that the "girly" candles happened to be lit when Trey had his organization to the house for dinner.

15. Buying a round of drinks means "Hey, I love you"

Boys aren't as affectionate as girls.

Yes, that is a generalization. In our case though it is definitely the truth. (Granted, I happen to be a very affectionate girl and neither roommate is exactly "emotional"). Living with girls it is quite normal to lay on the couch together and talk about how amazing the other person is, how great it is to be roommates, and much we love eachother. It is way more common for girls to end a platonic conversation with "I love you!" or hug eachother after a terrible (or exciting) day.

I assure you that neither guy has randomly and openly expressed their love of having me as a roommate/friend. Oh yea, and we don't sit on the couch and talk about how great the other person is either.

I am adjusting. Slowly.

Last weekend we were in New York. We ordered some drinks and Trey ended up paying for both of ours. I began the search through my wallet to find cash to pay him back.

Trey: Mallory, don't worry about it.
Me: No way! I have it right here...
Trey: Don't worry about it, I've got it.
Me: Trey...
Trey: This is what friends do, really.

Oh. I guess boys subscribe to the theory that actions speak louder than words. Friendship? Love? Yea, it's all there. You just have to read between the lines...

14. Brotherhood really does exist

And I am not talking about the brotherhood between two siblings. I am talking about the brotherhood that exists naturally between any two guys in a room.

Let me set the scene:
We are in the Master's computer lab with a bunch of people from our program. Trey is in the back of the room next to Logan. I remember that it was Logan's birthday the past weekend.

Mallory: Hey Logan- happy birthday!
Trey: You are just now wishing him happy birthday?
Mallory: I wrote on his facebook wall?
Trey: Oh yea? While you were in Disney? I wrote on his wall ON his birthday
Logan: That's right.. he did.

Conversation over.

Nearly twenty-four hours goes by and I am standing in the doorway to Trey's room.

Trey: Hey Mallory? You know how yesterday I told you that I wrote on Logan's facebook wall?
Mallory: Yea
Trey: I didn't wish Logan happy birthday. I didn't write on his wall. I didn't even wish him happy birthday after we talked about it.
Mallory: Really?
Trey: Yea, Logan just covered for me.

Oh.

13. If you wear glasses and a retainer expect to get laughed at

Boys don't care if you are as blind as a bat or if you want to keep your teeth straight.

I had gotten all ready for bed and had to go into the hall to tell my two roommates something. I didn't think much of going to talk to them with my glasses on and my retainer in. Maybe I should have. The two of them couldn't stop laughing at me for a good thirty minutes. But then again, I guess they would laugh harder if my teeth became crooked and I ran into random objects around the house.

12. Batteries and Ragu are a fair trade

Boys aren't concerned with exact equity.

Trey bought me batteries for my remote for my TV. (I know, I know, I am spoiled rotten.. I get it) When I came home I asked him how much they were. Naturally I didn't want him to think that I was going to just take advantage of him and have him buy me things without paying him back. He informed me that it didn't matter; He had been eating my Ragu. (And also some blueberry pomegranate juice) Interesting. I mean, I have never lived in a house that is so yours/mine/ours. Most things are shared here and I really do believe that over a year it will probably all come out even.

This concept is refreshing for two reasons.

The first reason is that this is the first year that I haven't had to keep a running total of who owed who what. I sometimes felt as though the elaborate accounting system of my house was more complicated than my accounting classes in school. I won't have to constantly keep small bills around to trade back and forth (more like monopoly money) with my roommates.

The second reason is that I didn't feel to guilty yesterday when I stole two of Kyle's fresh cut veggies and dipped them in the humus in the fridge.... yea, I think I can get used to this.

11. You are never too old to buy yourself a poohbear stuff animal

Kyle at Disney World. (enough said).

10. Cockroaches are only gross if you think they are gross

I had to do laundry in the middle of the night. (not by choice.. but that should possibly be its own blog). I am already not happy to have to do laundry at 2am, but it is essential to sleep. I go to open the laundry room door and out crawls two cockroaches. I was then terrified to have to go back into the dark kitchen and dark laundry room to move my sheets into the dryer. My solution? Put on my rainboots and then complain and whine about the nasty bugs. (I am not going to mention the ones in the garage).

Trey: Am I going to have to do EVERYTHING for you? (see post number 9)
Mallory: No. Cockroaches are just gross.
Trey: They are only gross if you think they are gross.

Guess what? I think they are gross. This concept might work for boys though.

...This is why I went to the store and bought their entire stock of roach repellent/killer/defumers/nest killers today.

9. Boys fix things (for fun)

I have a tv in my room. For the first three weeks it did not work though. This is because I need a cable splitter (which who actually knows what that is?) and even then there are technical difficulties in my newly acquired room that Kyle forgot to mention before I moved into his old room. I have not been looking forward to going to best buy, having to ask someone (and admit my incompetence) what a cable splitter is and then try to figure out how to do whatever it is you are supposed to do with it and then program the tv. (do you even program a tv?) I opted instead for procrastination.. (I mean I have to study for school, hang out with friends, and do other important things... like playing bejewled?)

I went out of town this weekend. While I was gone I received a text message from Trey that read "I am sitting on your bed right now watching tv". Oh. My. Gosh. I didn't even ask him to help me with it!

I think he was overwhelmed with how excited and grateful I was. Infact he even said "you are going to have to stop thanking me"... This might be because we looked at the task completely different. I looked at it about as exciting as counting blades of grass in the lawn (which would have probably taken me as long to do as figuring out the tv situation) and Trey looked at is as a challenge to figure out while he was bored.

Moral of the story? When living with boys you should always procrastinate "playing" with electronics.

8. Girls give more details

I have recently enjoyed sharing stories with Trey. This is a typical thing for girls to do. They go to coffee or lunch or dinner with eachother and share life stories. We call this bonding. Boys on the other hand share their "stories" on a very quick and need-to-know basis.

The three of us went out of town for various reasons. When we came back we all shared our weekend "stories". Although mine was no where near as eventful, the story lasted maybe 6 times longer. I shared who wore what and who said what and who felt what about what. I think the guys could tell you a play-by-play of the entire weekend. (possibly because it took them at least an hour to hear its entirety) I also then continued to share more bits and pieces (if there was anything even to share left) for the remainder of the week.

Don't get me wrong. The guys shared their weekend too. It just went more along the lines of: How was your weekend? Good. Did you makeout with anyone? Yes. Cool.

This then brings us to the current weekend.

Mallory: Goodnight Trey!
Trey: Goodnight Mallory, have fun in Orlando
Mallory: I will! And I'll tell you all about it when I get back
Trey: Oh.. I'm sure you will.....

7. Pull up bars are manly. They aren't meant to be a swing.

The hallway that leads to our bedrooms is decorated with a pullup bar. Both guys can do a pull up to when the time is right (which means there is someone they want to impress OR I am telling a boring story and they would rather at least be doing something productive while listening)

I can't even do one pull up. I can jump up and then hold myself up (sortof). I do however like that bar. I like to hold on the the bar and swing. I think it is fun (and I am sure there is so sort of arm work out I am doing when I swing on the bar.

The guys don't like that I use the bar as a swing.

Kyle: Mallory, you take all the manliness out of the bar when you swing on it. It is not a playground.

... said the boy who bought a poohbear (see post number eleven)

6. Girls say "Will you please help me?", Boys say "Do you want some?"

I was eating mushrooms while talking to Trey at the table. Trey snacked on a couple while we were sharing our wedding stories from the weekend.

Mallory: Will you please help me finish these?
Trey: See, now thats something boys never say. They just say "Hey, do you want some?"

5. Brown and brown are okay to wear together- Hey its not brown and black right?

I came into the kitchen to see kyle making eggs. (Yes, some boys do cook.. and Kyle is absolutely amazing at it) He is about to go to school in brown cargo shorts and a brown tshirt that is only about a shade darker than his shorts. Mind you, the boy probably owns enough tshirts to supply a Goodwill.

Mallory: You aren't going to wear brown and brown to school Kyle...
Kyle: I guess not now... People did comment on that last time I wore this outfit too.

Really? This is a second time offense?

4. It is more important to spend money on a DVR than on air conditioning

Trey asked me what temperature I like to keep the air conditioning at. Of course I told him that I don't REALLY care. (I know that it is very expensive to air condition a house verses the apartment that I am used to). He continued to explain that Kyle likes to keep the air at 80 degrees but he likes to keep the air at 78 and he wanted to know whose side I would be on.

I am initially awed by the fact that they can fight over two degrees. I feel as though a compromise of 79 degrees is the obvious solution. My second reaction is an internal mental panic that BOTH of these temperatures are 6-10 degrees warmer than I used to keep my apartment when living with girls. (Granted, it was a small apartment and not a whole house and thus the electricity cost is not as high.)

Trey explained that Kyle just really didn't like spending money on electricity.

But don't worry. We have a TV the size of a small movie screen, DVR, a million chanels, Xbox, Playstation, Rockband (including a drumset), and more video games than you would imagine.

3. Anything can be made into a sexual induendo

Kyle. (enough said)

2. The comfort of the couch is more important than how "pretty" it is

Hmm. What a concept right?

(Background information: There was a couch in the room I was moving into)

Trey: Hey Mallory, do you want to keep a couch in your room?
Mallory: Yea, that's fine.
Trey: I was just wondering if you would want the black couch in the living room instead since that is technically "your couch". It is up to you, but we will move it for you if you want though.

Now mind you, the couch in the living room has a black very nice couch cover. It also happens to have red pillows. My room just so happens to be black, white, and red. (Coincidence?) The couch in my new room is blue, green, and yellow plaid. It looks like it came right out of the seventies. And honestly? I don't even think I would have liked the color if I lived in the seventies!

Mallory: Well, I would at least love the couch cover!
Trey: Okay, I just really like how comfortable the couch in the room is. I thought it would be better for the living room. (which of course I don't understand because why would you put the ugly couch as the first thing people see when they walk in?)

It is at that point that I realized that Trey and I weren't even talking about the same thing. I was talking about which couch would LOOK better in my room and he was talking about which couch was more COMFORTABLE. Go figure.

1. Boys don't care

Boys sure are alot easier than girls (of course this is generally speaking). In general the girl roommates I have had in the past care about every little detail. We talk things out and plan and boys really don't care. It's refreshing.

Mallory: I was hoping that I might be able to start moving in this weekend if that is okay.
Trey: Yea, thats fine. We don't care when you start.
Mallory: Okay, well I just have to be out this week. You don't think Kyle will care do you?
Trey: No. Kyle wont care. You can start moving now if you want.
Mallory: Well, Kyle just has some stuff in the room and I don't want him to feel like I am pushing him out of his room.
Trey: Nah, just move his stuff. He wont care.
Mallory: I mean, I would move in later, but I have to be out by the 31st and this week is going to be busy so this weekend really is the best time. I just don't want to make him move when hes gone this weekend. And I really want to get started on cleaning my apartment out and stuff and...
Trey: Mallory. Really. We don't care. You will have to stop asking.
Mallory: Oh.

And then I got it. Boys don't REALLY care about the small stuff.