Who knew the opposite sex could teach you so much!?
We officially moved out one month ago and I moved into a little one bedroom in Dallas. It is quiet- sometimes nice, and sometimes desperately lonely. There is no sports center on when I come home, I haven't gone out dressed in suits, no family dinner nights, no "How I Met Your Mother" marathons that can last for days straight, no random friends sleeping on the couch (no plaid couch, and only one couch), no one to stay up all night with talking in the kitchen, or to distract me from studies. My fridge smells good and my kitchen is clean. There was a little dead bug in the corner and I had to get it myself. The kitchen light went out and I had to stand on a chair to fix it. The garbage disposal is broken and I had to pay an extra $75 for the furniture company to build my new dresser. The door is always locked when I come home and I only have basic cable. There is no one playing rockband when I go to bed and there is no one cooking eggs when I get up. I had to call Trey when I superglued my fingers together and I already failed at attempting one of Kyle's recipes alone. You don't know a good thing until it's gone? No- I knew I had a good thing when I lived there.
Would I recommend living with boys to other girls? It depends. I happened to get to amazing roommates. You better know what you are getting into and be prepared to be told the honest truth (and be flexible). It really isn't about what sex your roommates are but really who they are as people. My two roommates really became my brothers, but I know not everyone is that lucky.
Looking back I got so much more out of the $380 rent than just a place to sleep. I learned more about myself than I could possibly imagine and made two incredible friends who are stuck with me for a lifetime.
6/22/10
4/22/10
50. Can't find the veggies? look in the vegetable drawer
Every week I buy a bag of carrots. What? I like carrots. I have always assumed that Kyle eats my carrots too. It's not like Trey would touch carrots unless he was absolutely starving. Not that I mind because I know everything evens out in the end (see post 12).
Earlier this week I bought 3 peaches. One for monday, one for tuesday, and one for wednesday. On wednesday I could not find my last peach. Sure Kyle would eat out of my huge bags of carrots without needing to ask, but a peach? That just doesn't sound as likely. I begin my quest to tear about the refrigerator to find my lost peach.
I eventually did find the peach. In the vegetable drawer.... with 5 bags of half eaten carrots. Of course I never look in the vegetable drawer because "I didn't put it there".
Girls are so different. The last four years of college I have always had my shelf in the cabinet and my shelf in the refrigerator. With boys? We just throw everything in any way that they fit. Our organization is basically shot. Of course it makes more sense to put the carrots in the vegetable drawer... it would just never have crossed my mind since thats where "kyle puts his food".
It seems that girls are more "separate but equal" while guys tend to be fully integrated. Is there a right way to organize the refrigerator? Probably not. Just know to check for your carrots in the vegetable drawer.
49. Guys know what to do when the water turns off
... And they aren't afraid to test your judgement, you know, to make you a "stronger person"
I went home for the weekend and was talking to Trey online.
Trey: I took a shower 15 minutes ago and the water went off
Me: WHAT!? why?
Trey: I want to test your thought process, if you were home alone and the water turned off, what you would you?
Me: Call you
Trey: And if I didn't answer?
Me: Call Kyle or call my dad... But I bet the water was turned off
Trey: So how was the water turned off?
Me: The water company (clearly). Did we pay the bill?
Me: Wait.. it's only the 5th... It's not that
Trey: That's a possibility, what else could it be?
Me: They are doing work outside? and had to turn off the street? go look outside? ask a neighbor if theirs is off too?
Trey: NICE!
Me: YAY! I PASSED!
Trey: Ok, so you go outside, there's a guy with his head in our water meter and a big wrench. you be Mallory, and I'll be the guy
Me: "Good morning sir, what is wrong with the water? will it be up shortly?"
Trey: Oh yea, we are just upgrading the meter, should be back on in about five minutes, sorry for the inconvenience.
Mallory: "No problem! thanks for letting me know"
Trey: WINNER! okay, shower time.
Turns out I knew what to do when the water went off. Do I attribute that to living with boys for a year? Possibly. Maybe girls just tend to ask their male roommates/ boyfriend/ father/ brother/ male neighbor/any sort of guy as a first instinct. This is a pretty awesome deal if you think about it. It allows the guys to feel as though they are needed and at the same time we get to let the boys worry about what to do when the water runs out.
Was sweet that Trey wanted to make sure I could handle myself when I have to live alone next year? Absolutely.
Of course... it is not really by chance that Trey would be the one to notice that the water went off. He is by far the one who takes the most frequent and longest showers out of the three of us (see post 43) and, thus, had the best odds.
4/14/10
48. Always ask the second question
Boys really live by that don't ask don't tell policy. (As you probably know by now, I NEVER live by a don't ask don't tell policy and the guys hear more than they ever really cared to hear.) The trick is knowing when to ask the second question and what the second question should be.
This brings me to the day that Kyle went roller skating. He was in a speed racing contest.
Mallory: How was skating?
Kyle: Good! I was in a speed racing contest. I got 4th!
Mallory: Thats awesome Kyle!
A few days later I find out there were only 6 people competing. (In Kyle's defense it sounds like one of the guys is one of those creepy people who goes to the rink alone everyday to practice)
Trey participates in every intramural sport offered on campus. (or so it seems). Trey came into the house really frustrated and you could tell he was actually feeling pretty down.
Mallory: Trey, is everything okay?
Trey: Yea... We just lost our basketball game. We are kicked out of the tournament now.
Mallory: At least you still have volleyball...
Trey: I just really wanted a championship basketball shirt. It is just that basketball is really competitive. We are in "D" league.
Mallory: Oh yea? Letters does it go through?
Trey: (pause, pause, pause) well..... "D".
This makes me think. How many other stories have I heard and had a completely different perception based on not asking the right questions? Did it really take me ten months to finally get the hang of this? Will girls ever REALLY get the hang of it?
So lesson learned. If you want the real story you have to ask the questions. The only way to know what questions to ask? well, only time can tell.
47. Better friends don't lie
I don't like birds. Don't get me wrong, I love animals and I like birds (outside). My parents have a finch feeder (outside) where there are about six finches that eat there at any give time (outside).
Kyle is birdsitting his girlfriends bird for eight weeks (which is forever in bird years).
Trey and I have fought about this bird thing for the last three days straight. He wanted to make sure that I had a legitimate reason for not liking it (I did). He wanted me to get over my fear (I do't care to). Now he just fights me about it because it gives us something new to talk about. I have learned from the fights "blah blah blah, yes I do support KYLE and thats all that matters".
Which leads me to the conversation today.
Trey: You and Loki (his dog) should be happy about the bird- now girls out number boys in the house!
Me: But Loki and I don't care! We don't like the bird
Trey: You are acting like highschool cheerleaders...
Me: EVERYONE else agrees with me that I've told
Trey: Oh yea? Who?
Me: ALL the girls at dinner last night completely agreed (I left out the fact that I basically complained to every girlfriend who would listen- and they ALL agreed)
Trey: Well of course they will, they are your friends and want to agree with you
Me: So then you aren't my friend?
Trey: No, I am just a better friend. I don't lie to you.
Interesting. Maybe girls have been raised to lie to their friends while boys are raised to challenge their friends. Girls say things such as "You don't look fat in that", "I completely agree", "You are right- he is a jerk", "You look so skinny in that", "No, your butt isn't big", "Don't worry- I didn't do that either". Boys challenge eachother "You can't do that", "Did you really do that", "Do you know who sang that/played that/did that?", "Shes not even that cute".
I would like to think that my BEST friends don't lie to me, but how many times have I been "getting over a guy" and suddenly all my girlfriends start telling me that they didn't like him anyways, or he wasn't that cute, or I could do better. What is funny is that during the SAME relationships my close guy friends will say straight out that they don't like him.
Does that make guys better friends? I wouldn't go that far. But I guess if you want the absolute truth you might want to seek out the advice of your guy friends.
Oh yea. It is a strange day when you find your self longing for our old pet rat. Hey, at least it lived in the garage!
2/22/10
46. Driving is just a game
When I have driven with girls we talk about our day, where we are driving to, what's going on in out lives, gossip about other people, or maybe even jam out to a song. I have never had a girlfriend comment or compliment me on a "good move" in reference to driving. Boys? They talk about the "game of driving".
The three of us were in the car. Kyle was driving. He saw a break in the oncoming traffic and took a rather quick left down a side street.
Trey: Ahh good call!
Kyle: I know, right? I just saw that one coming.
Trey: Good move.
They then spent the rest of the car ride talking strategy. Driving strategy. Really?
Maybe this is why they never let me drive.
45. It's all about outsmarting the rat
A good sunday group activity consists of catching a rat.
For a week the boys have tried nonstop to catch the rat. They have rigged every type of rat trap possibly imaginable. Some have cheese, some use peanut butter, some have trap doors, some use sticky tape, and some are the classic stick and box combo. I don't actually know what any of these traps look like because since the last rat spotting I have completely avoided the garage. But I have heard about each trap in more details than I ever wanted.
When one comes home they immediately run to the garage and then report the verdict to the other. I am not sure I have seen the two of them so excited about anything before. (I also am not sure if I have seen Kyle scream like a girl before). "OH! OH! THE RAT GOT THE CHEESE AND GOT AWAY!" You would think this rat is a rocket scientist- smarter than TWO grad students. (maybe rats should be doing tests on boys... maybe this rat already is)
Call me strange, but I think going to walmart and buying a $10 rat trap might be a more efficient way of catching the rat. (or you know, calling an exterminator?) It would probably even be a cheaper method too if you consider how much cheese the two have wasted. But as Kyle has said "At this point I want to just be able to have the accomplishment of doing it myself."
This sunday they finally caught the rat. I don't know, nor do I want to know details, but the rat might not have been 100% dormant when caught. That means that Kyle, Trey, Brian, and Madison all had to go into the garage armed with boots and an airsoft gun to properly take care of the rat situation. You would have thought they were hunting tigers. I have never seen that group so excited or animated about anything (except the time they were trying to name all of the NFL teams).
Which leads me to the question: How many boys does it take to trap a rat?
43. Boys take long showers too
Yes, I feel as though I point out many of the common differences between guys and girls. It does surprise me though when our house breaks the average stereotypes.
Trey takes long showers. And I mean REALLY long showers.
A fairly normal conversation in our house consists of the following:
Kyle: Hey, you are you guys ready to go?
Trey: Yea, let me take a shower real quick
Kyle: You don't need to shower! That will take 20 minutes.
He isn't kidding. Trey was about to take a self declared "fast shower". I was sitting at my computer and decided that I would time this "fast shower". 17 minutes later he emerged.
Mallory: Trey- that was a fast shower?
Trey: Yea, wasn't it?
Mallory: Sure, if you call 17 minutes fast...
Trey: Really!?
Mallory: Seriously, I shower faster than you do
Trey: Well, I had to shave
Guess what? I have to shave my legs in the shower! (more area to cover than his face) I do realize that when it comes down to it I might not actually want to know why his showers are so long.
42. Boys don't need instructions
Since I've lived here I have seen Trey build a desk, put in a ceiling fan, magically fix the internet/cable/dvr/random electronics that I don't know what they do, fix a car, and install a light switch.
My toilet was leaking. (No, I did not clog it- thanks kyle) but some rubber piece inside was old and needed to be replaced. (No, I did not figure this out myself) By now I have the routine down... "Hey Trey? The _____ isn't working...." He was able to look at it and instantly figure out that some rubber piece inside was old and needed to be replaced. He then went to the store and bought whatever rubber piece he needed and the proceeded to explain to me the innerworkings of a toilet. (which I could honestly careless about.. I just wanted my toilet to work) I honestly did listen though, while at the same time thinking "how in the world did he actually know this?" (girls can multitask- remember?) Is it possible that guys and girls are programmed that differently?
I honestly wasn't too disappointed when I had to leave, and Trey was satisfied enough with my new found knowledge of a toilet.
Trey: Mallory, you could actually do this yourself. It comes with instructions.
Really? So basically you are saying that I need instructions in order to fix a toilet but you are somehow born with a mental set of instructions for this kind of stuff? I hate to break it to you, but I don't think I could have fixed it even WITH instructions.
1/29/10
41. Boys "one-up" each other
If two girls are having a conversation they talk about things they have in common. Share stories about boys, talk about last night's Oscars, talk about a new sale, or talk about their weekend. Boys instead will talk about who hooked-up with the hotter girl, who knows more random useless movie facts, who got the better price for their TV (and who has more features), and who has the more exciting plans for the weekend.
This morning Trey was telling me about a conversation that him and Kyle had a few hours earlier. Kyle was going to work wearing the same Tshirt that Trey had on.
Trey: You copied me.
Kyle: No, you copied me. I slept in this shirt last night.
Trey: I slept in this shirt last night too. You weren't wearing it when you were cooking breakfast. Which means you put it on AFTER you knew I was wearing it.
Kyle: I wore this shirt yesterday.
Trey: So what!? I wore this shirt yesterday too.
Kyle: I put it on first since I always get up before you do.
Trey: Wait, did you really sleep in a longsleved shirt?
Kyle: No.
Trey: Oh, okay.
The entire conversation became a fabrication only so that they could successfully one-up the other. OVER A TSHIRT.
I didn't listen for most of the story. I was too caught up thinking about how both of the boys were going to wear the same shirt two days in a row. (and may or may not have slept in it the night before- really!?)
1/13/10
40. Always be prepared for a practical joke
I am normally responsible. Unfortunately I left a very important letter that I needed to apply for the CPA exam on my desk when I went home for the break. I asked Kyle if he could mail it to me in San Antonio... Of course, being the good roommate that he is, he did.
I was anxiously awaiting the mail to come in and the second it did I threw the letter into my application folder and drove to the post office. I was standing in line at the post office when, as an after thought, I decided that maybe I should check the envelope. My past girl roommates would have sent a nice little note that said "Miss you!" or "Hope you are having a good break". Just maybe my boy roommate had done the same thing.
When I opened the envelope I found a condom and a note that said "Be Safe".
I am standing at the post office.
I literally almost sent the Certified Public Accountancy Board a condom and a note that said "Be Safe." All I can say? Lesson learned.
39. Boys work out harder
... or at least differently.
I hate stereotyping like that. I am not one of those girls that goes to the gym in full make up, jewelery, and barely breaks a sweat. I try to get 3-5 workouts in the gym and I push myself each time (always adding time or speed to the treadmill). I can workout on the elliptical for an hour at a time and I even take the "body blaster" weight class.
Boys are different. I worked out with Kyle today. That really means that I worked out and he counted/motivated/pushed me. (Turns out we actually have a gym in our garage- which I never knew until a few weeks ago since I have always been too afraid of roaches and rats to venture into the garage.) If what we did today was a work-out, then I have never actually worked out before in my life. Girls just don't push themselves to tears I guess...
The other thing I noticed is that we are motivated differently. Girls motivate themselves by thinking of bathing suit season, the neighbor's perfect abs (shout out to Katie), that little black dress you want to wear to a wedding it two weeks, the new crush, or the ex's new girlfriend. I know I am not alone in this because every weightwatchers, Jenny Craig, Trimspa, Nutrisystem commercial is based around the same concepts.
This is not the aproach Kyle used to motivate me while doing wall squats:
Kyle: Mallory- Keep going!
Mallory: I...I... Can't....
Kyle: YES YOU CAN! COME ON!
Kyle: There are people out there in way worse pain. People who are in pain for days. You are only in pain for five minutes (okay, thats an exaggeration. I only did wall squats for 1.5 minutes, but it felt like eternity)
The funny thing is I am never actually motivated by other people's pain. I mean, there are people starving all around the world but that never exactly motivates me to skip dinner. Does that actually work for guys? There is almost a sensitive side to that...
I am going to see if when "that time of the month" rolls around again if Kyle will suddenly feel for me and pick up my chores around the house..
1/11/10
38. Boys are like Mr. Gadget
Not like the go-go-gadget guy whose arm reach out on command and has a helicopter come out from his hat. Their messages do not self destruct. (although I do tend to wonder where things can disappear to in the house). Probably a better title would be "Boys are handy men", but lets face it, that just doesn't sound as cool.
I am constantly amazed by what Trey and Kyle seem to be able to fix. A few months ago Trey installed a ceiling fan in his room simply because it didn't work well enough. I wouldn't even know how to start a project like that. Kyle just informed me that he rebuilt his computer harddrive. Or installed it himself? or something. To be honest, I don't even KNOW what he did because my eyes glazed over when he said "internal, computer, install".
The plug in my bathroom has been making strange noises. I first heard these noises one night when I was home alone. I of course came to the instant conclusion that a spark was going to ignite the entire bathroom and burn the house down. I seriously contemplated the idea of taking the dog and sleeping on the couch. (that we would have more of a chance to make it out of the house alive.) I wasn't being dramatic (okay, maybe alittle), I just genuinely didn't know what to do with the plug.
Trey took one look at it, played with it a bit, called his dad, and simply informed me that he will have to install a new outlet. Wait, really? I was instantly amazed (which I tried to contain because Trey always gets frustrated and says "I shouldn't be so surprised- I should have more faith in him".) I was then nervous that he wouldn't know what to do and would electrocute himself. (Which wouldn't be TOO bad since I could keep his dog...)
Trey: Mallory, it is like a computer program.
Mallory: Oh?
Trey: Once you know how, you can just do it.
Trey: I have instructions from my dad.
That's interesting. I am not sure if I have ever installed a computer program that was just like another. My father and I have spent countless hours trying to make wireless internet work over the phone.
The only conclusion I can come to? I think there is just a switch in boys that make "fixing things" easy. Maybe they are just simply programmed differently.
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