41. Boys "one-up" each other

If two girls are having a conversation they talk about things they have in common. Share stories about boys, talk about last night's Oscars, talk about a new sale, or talk about their weekend. Boys instead will talk about who hooked-up with the hotter girl, who knows more random useless movie facts, who got the better price for their TV (and who has more features), and who has the more exciting plans for the weekend.

This morning Trey was telling me about a conversation that him and Kyle had a few hours earlier. Kyle was going to work wearing the same Tshirt that Trey had on.

Trey: You copied me.

Kyle: No, you copied me. I slept in this shirt last night.

Trey: I slept in this shirt last night too. You weren't wearing it when you were cooking breakfast. Which means you put it on AFTER you knew I was wearing it.

Kyle: I wore this shirt yesterday.

Trey: So what!? I wore this shirt yesterday too.

Kyle: I put it on first since I always get up before you do.

Trey: Wait, did you really sleep in a longsleved shirt?

Kyle: No.

Trey: Oh, okay.

The entire conversation became a fabrication only so that they could successfully one-up the other. OVER A TSHIRT.

I didn't listen for most of the story. I was too caught up thinking about how both of the boys were going to wear the same shirt two days in a row. (and may or may not have slept in it the night before- really!?)

40. Always be prepared for a practical joke

I am normally responsible. Unfortunately I left a very important letter that I needed to apply for the CPA exam on my desk when I went home for the break. I asked Kyle if he could mail it to me in San Antonio... Of course, being the good roommate that he is, he did.

I was anxiously awaiting the mail to come in and the second it did I threw the letter into my application folder and drove to the post office. I was standing in line at the post office when, as an after thought, I decided that maybe I should check the envelope. My past girl roommates would have sent a nice little note that said "Miss you!" or "Hope you are having a good break". Just maybe my boy roommate had done the same thing.

When I opened the envelope I found a condom and a note that said "Be Safe".

I am standing at the post office.

I literally almost sent the Certified Public Accountancy Board a condom and a note that said "Be Safe." All I can say? Lesson learned.

39. Boys work out harder

... or at least differently.

I hate stereotyping like that. I am not one of those girls that goes to the gym in full make up, jewelery, and barely breaks a sweat. I try to get 3-5 workouts in the gym and I push myself each time (always adding time or speed to the treadmill). I can workout on the elliptical for an hour at a time and I even take the "body blaster" weight class.

Boys are different. I worked out with Kyle today. That really means that I worked out and he counted/motivated/pushed me. (Turns out we actually have a gym in our garage- which I never knew until a few weeks ago since I have always been too afraid of roaches and rats to venture into the garage.) If what we did today was a work-out, then I have never actually worked out before in my life. Girls just don't push themselves to tears I guess...

The other thing I noticed is that we are motivated differently. Girls motivate themselves by thinking of bathing suit season, the neighbor's perfect abs (shout out to Katie), that little black dress you want to wear to a wedding it two weeks, the new crush, or the ex's new girlfriend. I know I am not alone in this because every weightwatchers, Jenny Craig, Trimspa, Nutrisystem commercial is based around the same concepts.

This is not the aproach Kyle used to motivate me while doing wall squats:

Kyle: Mallory- Keep going!

Mallory: I...I... Can't....

Kyle: YES YOU CAN! COME ON!

Kyle: There are people out there in way worse pain. People who are in pain for days. You are only in pain for five minutes (okay, thats an exaggeration. I only did wall squats for 1.5 minutes, but it felt like eternity)

The funny thing is I am never actually motivated by other people's pain. I mean, there are people starving all around the world but that never exactly motivates me to skip dinner. Does that actually work for guys? There is almost a sensitive side to that...

I am going to see if when "that time of the month" rolls around again if Kyle will suddenly feel for me and pick up my chores around the house..

38. Boys are like Mr. Gadget

Not like the go-go-gadget guy whose arm reach out on command and has a helicopter come out from his hat. Their messages do not self destruct. (although I do tend to wonder where things can disappear to in the house). Probably a better title would be "Boys are handy men", but lets face it, that just doesn't sound as cool.

I am constantly amazed by what Trey and Kyle seem to be able to fix. A few months ago Trey installed a ceiling fan in his room simply because it didn't work well enough. I wouldn't even know how to start a project like that. Kyle just informed me that he rebuilt his computer harddrive. Or installed it himself? or something. To be honest, I don't even KNOW what he did because my eyes glazed over when he said "internal, computer, install".

The plug in my bathroom has been making strange noises. I first heard these noises one night when I was home alone. I of course came to the instant conclusion that a spark was going to ignite the entire bathroom and burn the house down. I seriously contemplated the idea of taking the dog and sleeping on the couch. (that we would have more of a chance to make it out of the house alive.) I wasn't being dramatic (okay, maybe alittle), I just genuinely didn't know what to do with the plug.

Trey took one look at it, played with it a bit, called his dad, and simply informed me that he will have to install a new outlet. Wait, really? I was instantly amazed (which I tried to contain because Trey always gets frustrated and says "I shouldn't be so surprised- I should have more faith in him".) I was then nervous that he wouldn't know what to do and would electrocute himself. (Which wouldn't be TOO bad since I could keep his dog...)

Trey: Mallory, it is like a computer program.

Mallory: Oh?

Trey: Once you know how, you can just do it.

Trey: I have instructions from my dad.

That's interesting. I am not sure if I have ever installed a computer program that was just like another. My father and I have spent countless hours trying to make wireless internet work over the phone.

The only conclusion I can come to? I think there is just a switch in boys that make "fixing things" easy. Maybe they are just simply programmed differently.