50. Can't find the veggies? look in the vegetable drawer

Every week I buy a bag of carrots. What? I like carrots. I have always assumed that Kyle eats my carrots too. It's not like Trey would touch carrots unless he was absolutely starving. Not that I mind because I know everything evens out in the end (see post 12).

Earlier this week I bought 3 peaches. One for monday, one for tuesday, and one for wednesday. On wednesday I could not find my last peach. Sure Kyle would eat out of my huge bags of carrots without needing to ask, but a peach? That just doesn't sound as likely. I begin my quest to tear about the refrigerator to find my lost peach.

I eventually did find the peach. In the vegetable drawer.... with 5 bags of half eaten carrots. Of course I never look in the vegetable drawer because "I didn't put it there".

Girls are so different. The last four years of college I have always had my shelf in the cabinet and my shelf in the refrigerator. With boys? We just throw everything in any way that they fit. Our organization is basically shot. Of course it makes more sense to put the carrots in the vegetable drawer... it would just never have crossed my mind since thats where "kyle puts his food".

It seems that girls are more "separate but equal" while guys tend to be fully integrated. Is there a right way to organize the refrigerator? Probably not. Just know to check for your carrots in the vegetable drawer.

49. Guys know what to do when the water turns off

... And they aren't afraid to test your judgement, you know, to make you a "stronger person"

I went home for the weekend and was talking to Trey online.

Trey: I took a shower 15 minutes ago and the water went off

Me: WHAT!? why?

Trey: I want to test your thought process, if you were home alone and the water turned off, what you would you?

Me: Call you

Trey: And if I didn't answer?

Me: Call Kyle or call my dad... But I bet the water was turned off

Trey: So how was the water turned off?

Me: The water company (clearly). Did we pay the bill?

Me: Wait.. it's only the 5th... It's not that

Trey: That's a possibility, what else could it be?

Me: They are doing work outside? and had to turn off the street? go look outside? ask a neighbor if theirs is off too?

Trey: NICE!

Me: YAY! I PASSED!

Trey: Ok, so you go outside, there's a guy with his head in our water meter and a big wrench. you be Mallory, and I'll be the guy

Me: "Good morning sir, what is wrong with the water? will it be up shortly?"

Trey: Oh yea, we are just upgrading the meter, should be back on in about five minutes, sorry for the inconvenience.

Mallory: "No problem! thanks for letting me know"

Trey: WINNER! okay, shower time.

Turns out I knew what to do when the water went off. Do I attribute that to living with boys for a year? Possibly. Maybe girls just tend to ask their male roommates/ boyfriend/ father/ brother/ male neighbor/any sort of guy as a first instinct. This is a pretty awesome deal if you think about it. It allows the guys to feel as though they are needed and at the same time we get to let the boys worry about what to do when the water runs out.

Was sweet that Trey wanted to make sure I could handle myself when I have to live alone next year? Absolutely.

Of course... it is not really by chance that Trey would be the one to notice that the water went off. He is by far the one who takes the most frequent and longest showers out of the three of us (see post 43) and, thus, had the best odds.

48. Always ask the second question

Boys really live by that don't ask don't tell policy. (As you probably know by now, I NEVER live by a don't ask don't tell policy and the guys hear more than they ever really cared to hear.) The trick is knowing when to ask the second question and what the second question should be.

This brings me to the day that Kyle went roller skating. He was in a speed racing contest.

Mallory: How was skating?

Kyle: Good! I was in a speed racing contest. I got 4th!

Mallory: Thats awesome Kyle!

A few days later I find out there were only 6 people competing. (In Kyle's defense it sounds like one of the guys is one of those creepy people who goes to the rink alone everyday to practice)

Trey participates in every intramural sport offered on campus. (or so it seems). Trey came into the house really frustrated and you could tell he was actually feeling pretty down.

Mallory: Trey, is everything okay?

Trey: Yea... We just lost our basketball game. We are kicked out of the tournament now.

Mallory: At least you still have volleyball...

Trey: I just really wanted a championship basketball shirt. It is just that basketball is really competitive. We are in "D" league.

Mallory: Oh yea? Letters does it go through?

Trey: (pause, pause, pause) well..... "D".

This makes me think. How many other stories have I heard and had a completely different perception based on not asking the right questions? Did it really take me ten months to finally get the hang of this? Will girls ever REALLY get the hang of it?

So lesson learned. If you want the real story you have to ask the questions. The only way to know what questions to ask? well, only time can tell.

47. Better friends don't lie

I don't like birds. Don't get me wrong, I love animals and I like birds (outside). My parents have a finch feeder (outside) where there are about six finches that eat there at any give time (outside).

Kyle is birdsitting his girlfriends bird for eight weeks (which is forever in bird years).

Trey and I have fought about this bird thing for the last three days straight. He wanted to make sure that I had a legitimate reason for not liking it (I did). He wanted me to get over my fear (I do't care to). Now he just fights me about it because it gives us something new to talk about. I have learned from the fights "blah blah blah, yes I do support KYLE and thats all that matters".

Which leads me to the conversation today.

Trey: You and Loki (his dog) should be happy about the bird- now girls out number boys in the house!

Me: But Loki and I don't care! We don't like the bird

Trey: You are acting like highschool cheerleaders...

Me: EVERYONE else agrees with me that I've told

Trey: Oh yea? Who?

Me: ALL the girls at dinner last night completely agreed (I left out the fact that I basically complained to every girlfriend who would listen- and they ALL agreed)

Trey: Well of course they will, they are your friends and want to agree with you

Me: So then you aren't my friend?

Trey: No, I am just a better friend. I don't lie to you.

Interesting. Maybe girls have been raised to lie to their friends while boys are raised to challenge their friends. Girls say things such as "You don't look fat in that", "I completely agree", "You are right- he is a jerk", "You look so skinny in that", "No, your butt isn't big", "Don't worry- I didn't do that either". Boys challenge eachother "You can't do that", "Did you really do that", "Do you know who sang that/played that/did that?", "Shes not even that cute".

I would like to think that my BEST friends don't lie to me, but how many times have I been "getting over a guy" and suddenly all my girlfriends start telling me that they didn't like him anyways, or he wasn't that cute, or I could do better. What is funny is that during the SAME relationships my close guy friends will say straight out that they don't like him.

Does that make guys better friends? I wouldn't go that far. But I guess if you want the absolute truth you might want to seek out the advice of your guy friends.

Oh yea. It is a strange day when you find your self longing for our old pet rat. Hey, at least it lived in the garage!