36. Pooping is normal

After living with boys the whole "lady" and "gentlemen" thing ends pretty quickly. It is to be expected.

I have seen both guys in a towel, talked to them while we were both brushing our teeth, seen crude youtube videos, had conversations while they peed, and heard stories not fit for a "lady's" ears. Granted, the whole "lady" image is lost since they have seen me without makeup, wearing my glasses and retainer (see post #13), and I often drink my apple juice straight out of the bottle. That being said, I think we hit a new level of comfortable today.

I was going to go shopping for our friend Katie's birthday. I wanted to know if the guys wanted to go in on a present with me. I called Trey. He didn't answer but instead replied with a text message.

Trey: Sup, I'm pooping
Mallory: Going to pick up kfray a bday present. Do you want it to be from you too?
Trey: Haha ya! Can I come with? Are you home or wehner?
Mallory: I'm walking to my car. Where are you?
Trey: Wehner! I'll meet you at your car?
Mallory: Yea. (and then it clicked) Wait. You were pooping in wehner?
Trey: Yup, 4th floor!
(I am going to pretend you didn't just tell me that... but then again, I did ask)
Mallory: I'm going to pretend you didn't just tell me that.

Later that night I was talking to Kyle before bed. I told him the series of text messages thinking he would get a laugh out of it.

Kyle: So?
Mallory: haha You dont think thats funny?
Kyle: Not really. Pooping is natural. It's not really that big of deal. That's what he was doing.
Mallory: But Kyle! It was in a public place! and he TOLD me about it...
Kyle: The fourth floor is hardly "public". It wasn't like it was the lobby.

Define public. (But that's not the point) The point is that boys embrace their natural excretion while girls choose to not talk about certain things with their friends.

35. Girls have names for their outings

Kyle, Bailey, and I had a spur of the moment afternoon ice cream run. We were then going to tag along with Kyle on some of his errands (to pick up a new cell phone). I called Trey to invite him to join us on "Kyle's afternoon of errands". Upon hanging up the phone Kyle immediately laughed at me.

Kyle: So you've made a name for the afternoon?
Mallory: Well... yea.

The following weekend I spent alot of time with our friend Katie. After spending several hours trying to make a costume I told Katie we could just add the story to our weekend adventures. The next day she told me she really enjoyed "Mallory and Katie's weekend adventures" and we laughed about our weekend. This wasn't strange to either of us.

After some contemplation I realized that the guys never name their outings. It must simply be too "cute" for boys. I am hoping this is one of the things that rubs off on them... I look forward to the day that the boys come home from a self declared "Kyle and Trey's trip to walmart".

34. "Safety" is a relative term

Girls and guys define safety very differently. Girls view safety as preparing (or worrying) about ALL the things that could possibly happen. Guys have a more practical approach of preparing for things that have actually have a good chance of happening.

One night I was studying in the computer lab on campus with Kyle. I was working on a paper and finally finished around 1am. Kyle was not quite done (probably because he fell asleep for a solid 40 minutes- which is impressive in a computer lab). Trey was online and the two of us were chatting while I waited.

Trey: So when are you guys coming home?
Mallory: Whenever Kyle is ready.. maybe 30 minutes or so?
Trey: Why are you waiting on Kyle?
Mallory: I don't really like to walk to my car by myself at night.
Trey: You are just sitting there at 1am until he leaves?
Mallory: I dont like walking to the car by myself at night! Hey- and will you look at my paper if you have time?
Trey: I'll only look at your paper if you leave now...

Thankfully I got the best of both worlds because Kyle was ready to leave. I had someone to walk me to my car (and make fun of me the whole time for NEEDING to be walked to may car), and I had someone to read my paper when I got home.

Trey: Kyle walked you to your car?
Mallory: Yea... (thanks Kyle for ratting me out!). But what's the big deal of him walking me to my car?
Trey: I was trying to prove a point.
Mallory: Something bad could have happened!
Trey: The only thing I have ever seen in that parking lot is a night patrol cop.

Well, why exactly do you think we have to HAVE night patrol cops? Because bad things happen!

The difference is that when I think about that parking lot (along with many girls) we picture the opportunity that lies with a parking lot. We see that big unmarked van that could be next to our car. The guy that is laying under our car with a knife. Or his buddy in the back seat. The guys? They see a well light parking lot with a patrol officer and emergency safety lights on a school campus right next to the building. Hm.

33. Don't wear it if it's not your style

I had several friends come intown for Halloween weekend. One of them was Marybeth. Marybeth is absolutely obsessed with this blue and black flannel shirt. If anyone knows Marybeth they know which shirt I am talking about because (as I said) she is absolutely obsessed with it and wears it quite often. She wore it this past weekend (surprise) while she was staying with me. Unfortunately, she left it at my house.

I decided I wanted to wear it to school on monday. I mean, I am clearly not borrowing the guy's clothes for class. And besides, flannel is really "in" right now. I stopped by Trey's room to ask him a quick question. As I was leaving Trey stopped me:

Trey: Hey Mal?
Mallory: Yea?
Trey: You weren't planning on wearing that to school were you?

(Yes, clearly)

Mallory: Yea...
Trey: Really?
Mallory: Why is something wrong with it?
Trey: I don't know, it's not your thing.
Mallory: You thought it looked fine on Marybeth this weekend....
Trey: Well yea, it's marybeth's thing. It's just not yours.

Turns out guys do have a sense of style (it's just unique)... Trey's style? Boardshorts and a graphic tee.